


20/20 (hindsight is always)

by Shinkirou



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: Altered Mental States, Blindness, Blood, Childhood Trauma, Gen, Head Injury, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Medical Trauma, Not Canon Compliant, Protective Siblings, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 00:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3467711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinkirou/pseuds/Shinkirou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no such thing as clean-cut black and white situations.</p><p>(Happy(?) birthday, Ragna!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	20/20 (hindsight is always)

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of the lab that Saya/Jin/Ragna were in pre-canon, but of course it's all just speculation/headcanon-ing. Not actually that shippy.
> 
> It's just after midnight on the 3rd here, so!

Ragna hates when Kokonoe 'calls' him, but her expression this time - caught between frustration and... Worry? He can't quite place that emotion, whatever it is, isn't familiar with it on her face, but either way, it makes him pause in his complaining for a few seconds, because he figures there's something really wrong if she looks even slightly concerned. 

She hesitates a bit - another uncharacteristic move of her - and just as Ragna's beginning to get impatient and anxious, she speaks up, "Something's wrong with Jin."

 _'What else is new?'_ rests on his tongue instinctively, but he can tell that she means it differently this time. "That's pretty vague," he settles for, instead, feeling uneasy all the same. 

She sighs, agitated again, and at least that's more normal, but then she shakes her head. "I'm not really sure what it is. Well, I know part of it - his eyes are messed up." Ragna's blood runs cold, but Kokonoe continues, unaware, "But I don't fuckin' know why or how, and he won't let anyone close enough to find out - he's flipping the fuck out. Not even Tsubaki or Kagura can get close. Can you get back here and see if he'll let you? Or knock him out or something?"

Ragna knows what's wrong already - well, not with Jin's eyes, but why he's freaking out. "Yeah, I'll be back soon, just... Keep everyone away from him." He's already turning and running, glad he hadn't been too far away from the base at this point... Jin's definitely in a bad place at the moment. 

Kokonoe raises a brow, "You sound like you know what's wrong." There's the sound of typing for a few seconds, though Ragna stays silent, "I won't press you for an answer, but if it'd help him for me to know, you should consider tellin' me." 

Ragna nods tacitly but stays silent, and Kokonoe sighs before the 'call' disconnects. Ah, shit... Of all the things to happen, why did it have to be blindness? 

Ragna's cursed with remembering bits and pieces of what happened before they - himself, Jin and Saya - were rescued by Jubei from the lab, and one of his more vivid memories was one time an experiment had gone wrong. It hadn't been anything catastrophic, thankfully, but it had left Jin temporarily blind, and he'd freaked the hell out when he woke in his cell unable to see even though his eyes were open. Of course Ragna couldn't even comfort him through the bars as he usually would, because Jin had curled up on his bed, on the far side of his cell, and wouldn't step off of it for anything, not even Ragna telling him he was okay. 

After all, he was paranoid that he wasn't going to be able to see what they did to him. Not that seeing it tended to be pleasant either, but not even having any idea of what was coming... Of course Jin had been terrified, and the tests hadn't stopped just because of his temporary blindness, because the scientists there figured his sight didn't matter for most of them. It had been awful. No wonder Jin wouldn't let anyone near him right now... Ragna wasn't sure he'd be able to get close either, but he hoped maybe he at least stood a better chance than anyone else. 

He's back at the base soon enough, Tsubaki meeting him at the doors with a terribly worried expression, and he knows she must feel especially awful. She'd been all but completely blind for a while there too, but Jin had saved her... Yet now that the tables were turned, she couldn't even get close. He at least manages a sympathetic look at her, even though she hates him - at the moment she seems far too concerned about Jin to be thinking about her hatred of Ragna. Fine by him.

He lets her lead him to where Jin is, and Ragna's stomach sinks even further - right. Of course it'd be a cell. He's not sure how they got him into one, but he's sure it didn't fucking help. Jin's curled up as tightly as possible, sitting up on the bed, tucked into the corner... Trying to look as small as possible. Ragna gestures for Tsubaki to leave, and when she starts to shake her head just glares at her and mouths that it's for Jin's own good if nobody else is here at the moment. Hesitation flickers across her features, and for a second Ragna thinks she's going to argue, but then she nods once, expression displeased, and steps back out the way they came. 

Good. The fewer people he has here, the less threatened Jin will feel. Or, hopefully, anyway. Ragna's not quite sure how to fix this, but... 

Well, he at least knows how to start. "Oi, Jin."

Jin doesn't respond, though, and Ragna wonders just how lost in trauma he is, to not respond to the sound of Ragna's voice at all. He tries calling again, slightly louder this time, but there's still no response, so he merely sighs and unlocks the door.

 _That_ draws a reaction, Jin's face snapping up, eyes not landing quite properly on Ragna but he's snarling nonetheless, clearly feeling threatened. When he was a kid, he'd screamed and cried... Now his instincts told him to fight, to defend himself and hurt those who would hurt him before they got the chance. But, well, that's not what Ragna's here for, this time. Ragna shifts the blood-scythe off of himself, leaning it against the bars - he hopes he won't need it, and doesn't want to freak Jin out or hurt him if he gets close enough that he could accidentally touch it. 

He tries once more. "Jin."

Still doesn't work, though. Ragna sighs to himself, silently praying that in this distressed state Jin doesn't remember Yukianesa and her powers, and approaches the bed. All Jin does is curl up tighter, shoulders hunched and expression vicious even as he's not seeing Ragna at all - he has a fighter's instincts regardless, so it's not like he can't hear Ragna, and Ragna's trying to step loudly anyway so Jin doesn't lose track of him. Even if Jin can't see him, that doesn't mean Ragna can't try to help make this as easy on him as possible. 

Only once he's standing next to the bed does he try a fourth time. "Jin, it's me. I'm not here to hurt you, okay? This isn't _that place_ ; you're safe." That finally seems to take enough of the edge off so that Jin stops snarling. He still looks somewhat distrustful, so Ragna sighs to himself, then tacks on, "It's just nii-san."

That seems to do the trick - Jin blinks like he's surprised, even though he can't see at the moment, and then all of a sudden Ragna finds himself being tugged down. He barely has the chance to let out a surprised "Wha-" before he's on the bed, but he doesn't resist Jin's tug, though it would be rather easy to do so; Jin's grip had landed closer to his stomach than his shoulders. He must be picturing Ragna being much smaller. But Ragna lets himself fall, and once they're settled, merely pulls his legs up onto the bed and shifts to lay on his side so Jin can get close - which he promptly does - curling up and tucking himself against Ragna's chest. 

It's been... A long time since they've laid like this. An unfortunate similarity is the way Jin is trembling; Ragna's not touching him, doesn't even dare drape an arm over Jin's side when he seems like he'd panic at the slightest brush, but he can feel it all the same. Once he relaxes back down again from the instinctive fight or flight mode that had welled up from being tugged off-balance so suddenly, he can hear Jin's muffled sobs against his chest, feel those hands clutching at his jacket tightly. There's a quiet little mantra of "nii-san"s and "don't go"s from Jin's lips, too, making the sobbing all the more obvious when his pace stutters. 

He's definitely in a bad place if he's actually crying. The last time Ragna had seen him cry was when he was a kid, and he figured that was probably the last time Jin _had_ , whether Ragna had been there to see it or not. It makes the same damn protective urges swell up in Ragna as it had then, too, despite everything. "... Jin, can I hug you?"

It seems to take a moment for the words to register, but then Jin nods rapidly, forehead bumping Ragna's chest, mantra pausing for a moment. Ragna lets his arm drift down around Jin's back, ignoring the way he tenses slightly at the touch even though he knew it was coming, and just pulls him a bit closer, burying his face in Jin's hair. "It's okay, you're safe here."

Jin hiccups, but slides one arm up around Ragna's back to tug himself in even closer. Ragna's not really sure if Jin registered his words, or if he believes them or not if he did, but whatever. He can at least let him calm down a bit first before he tries to talk to him properly. 

Jin tangles their legs, making Ragna jolt somewhat and instinctively scowl, almost pulling away to tell him not to push it, but then he immediately feels guilty and forces himself to stay still and silent. Jin wouldn't cry just to get Ragna close, and Ragna had seen the way Jin's eyes didn't quite land where they normally would. Not like he thinks Jin is faking, but maybe that he'd come back around... But he's still crying and clinging hard, so it seems unlikely. Ragna just strokes his hand up and down Jin's back instead, trying to find some way to comfort him. 

It's been a long time since he had to. 

It takes about twenty minutes before Jin finally seems a little less hysterical, sobs having ceased and grip somewhat less frantic on Ragna's jacket. He's still pressed up close, of course, but at least that looser grip means that Jin does actually trust that Ragna's not going anywhere, to some degree. Then again, Ragna's pretty sure if he pulled away, Jin would flip the fuck out again. Probably better not to test that theory, though. 

He speaks after a few more moments of hesitation, unsure of how to phrase what he wants to say without freaking Jin out further. "... Hey, Jin. You know where this is, right?"

Jin shakes his head rapidly. So, he's not quite as hysterical anymore, but he's still not back to himself. Fuck, of all the things that could have happened...

"... This is Kagura Mutsuki's base. Not the lab." Though, well, it's technically a lab too, just not the one Jin's freaking out about. "We're far away from there. It blew up, remember? Jubei rescued us. That was a long time ago - you might have actually been too young to remember it properly..."

Jin stays quiet, at least, even if Ragna's not quite sure he's processing any of what he's saying. Sure, Jin's body at least instinctively remembers the pain and terror it had gone through the last time it was in this state, but that doesn't mean Jin could actually recall it himself in a fully-conscious state. He might've even repressed it, for all Ragna knows. He's not inside Jin's head, after all.

... Thankfully. He definitely doesn't envy Jin's state of mind, after all - especially not right now, but not on a normal day, either. 

But, whatever. This isn't about that. Mostly. The point is, he needs to find a way to get Jin to sit still and not freak the fuck out for long enough for Kokonoe to get a look at his eyes. Having her come in here is out of the question - he'd probably only feel cornered in this cell. Ragna's also certain that her lab itself is a fucking terrible idea. It'll have to be some random room or something, he supposes. 

Of course, even then, that's assuming Jin will even move from here. Ragna's not stupid enough to try pulling free of him right now, because he already knows just about how well that'd go over - that is, not at all - so he's not really sure how they're going to go about getting him to see Kokonoe, or even out of this room, or off this bed. 

Well, no matter what they do, it's at least obvious that Jin's not going to let go of Ragna for a long while. Maybe Ragna can get him to stand just by standing, himself? Can he just talk Jin into getting up? It's better than not trying anything, he supposes, and he'd rather get Kokonoe working on figuring out what's wrong sooner rather than later so she can start to reverse it, if it's something that can be dealt with like that.

He keeps smoothing one hand up and down over Jin's back, just wanting to soothe him as best he can before he speaks up again. "... Well, it doesn't really matter if you remember or not - point is, you're not there anymore. Jin, will you let me take you to someone to get your eyes looked at?" Jin immediately tenses, head already starting to shake back and forth in vehement denial, so Ragna hurries on, "I promise they won't hurt you, and I won't leave your side."

Jin's shaking slows a bit, but his hands clutch tighter to Ragna's jacket for a few seconds as he seems to be considering it. "... Nii-san promises?" 

God, he even practically sounds like a kid again, and Ragna nearly winces. The only time he hears that tone nowadays is when Jin's in one of his Yukianesa-fueled bouts of hysteria, childishly cooing that he and Ragna should kill each other. It makes the words stick in Ragna's throat for a moment, and he nods instinctively, "Yeah, I promise."

Jin's hands are still balled in his coat, and even with the reassurance he doesn't seem to be eager to agree to it... But then he nods slowly and pulls back a bit, letting Ragna glance down and see his face. It's somehow only then that he notices the dark smudge near Jin's temple - on the side that was laying on the bed, and the side that he'd had tilted slightly closer to the wall, now that Ragna thought back on it. A head injury? It doesn't seem to still be bleeding, but that doesn't necessarily mean much.

Still, that's... Something. It's not a good thing, no, but if it's a head injury, that means it's more likely to just be temporary. Jin's face itself appears uninjured, but Ragna still can't really see the wound from here, so he nudges gently at Jin's arm, "Alright, let's sit up then, okay?" He's trying not to let too much concern colour his tone, because he doesn't want Jin to panic even further, but that doesn't mean he's any less anxious to get a look at that wound.

Jin clings tighter for a moment before carefully sitting up - he sways just a bit with the motion, but Ragna hasn't let go of him, so he stays upright. Ragna has to shift a bit to get their legs situated so they're both comfortable, then he nods absently, more to himself than Jin. Not that Jin could see it anyway. "There you go... Now can I get you to turn your head to the left? And is it okay if I touch your face?" Better to be over-cautious with Jin in this state than risk sending him into a panic.

Jin turns his head obediently, nodding gently, and Ragna does, in fact, wince at the sight there. It's doesn't actually seem like that bad a wound, thankfully, but Jin's hair is matted with blood, making it appear worse than it is. Probably. At least, from what Ragna can see, the wound itself doesn't appear too deep - probably just a glancing blow that happened to hit too close to his temple and caused some damage. That might also explain the hallucinations, or whatever Jin's experiencing would be considered. That doesn't mean he's not going to insist that Jin get it taken care of, and he's still going to ask Kokonoe to run some tests, see if she can tell if it hit anything vital, but at least there's an obvious cause for it. 

Assuming that blow is what caused it, anyway.

But Ragna has no reason to think otherwise, so until he gets Kokonoe to have a proper look, that's what he's going with as the cause. He reaches up a hand, about to brush the hair back, only to remember Jin can't see the motion and murmur again, "I'm going to touch, okay?" Sure, he'd seen Jin's nod earlier, but Ragna had ended up just staring for a few seconds, so he didn't want to catch Jin off-guard with the suddenness of the motion.

Jin nods again, and even smiles a bit, somehow. Ragna blinks at it, but Jin doesn't see his surprise, merely says easily in that childish tone, "It's fine since it's nii-san." Ragna's not even really sure whether Jin's just putting on a brave face or he genuinely means that, but either way, he simply reaches a hand up and brushes as gently at Jin's hair as he can. 

The blood makes it stick to the wound a bit, and Ragna pauses, "This might sting a bit - sorry, it'll be quick." And it's not like it'll really that bad, it's just that with Jin in such a mental state as he is, he doesn't want to suddenly hurt him. Jin nods, and Ragna tugs as gently as he can on Jin's hair, peeling it away from the wound and trying not to let it hurt too much. Jin winces just a bit, but says nothing, and Ragna instinctively kisses him on the forehead before he can think better of it. He goes still after he pulls back slightly, wondering if Jin's going to comment, but his little brother only smiles at him, clearly pleased to have that bit of affection. Ah... Protective urges, indeed. 

He'd always had to kiss Jin's injuries better when they were little, so he'd moved on instinct... Well, whatever. It's fine. Jin seems happy rather than disgusted or annoyed as he might have been if he was in his normal state of mind, so it's okay. It does re-confirm that Jin's in a weird mental state, though, not that Ragna had doubted it.

But he's getting distracted from the main point, so he turns his attention back to the wound on the side of Jin's head. He's glad that it doesn't appear to be too deep; he can't get all the hair away from it, of course, not without taking more time and risking hurting Jin more and more as he'd try to peel it away from the wound, but it's at least only bleeding slightly, now, meaning it likely truly wasn't that severe to begin with. His free hand slides absently to hold one of Jin's when he can feel him shifting slightly, apparently growing a little anxious from Ragna's staring, and eventually Jin speaks up, "... Is something wrong?"

Ragna nearly shakes his head, but catches himself. "Nah, sorry, just got distracted." He's sure some part of Jin is already aware of the true severity of the wound, but it seems like at the moment Jin's only aware there is one, not necessarily how deep it is, and definitely not aware that it's causing him to act all... Strange. Like he had when he was much younger than this, anyway.

Well, regardless of Jin's unusual mood, at least Ragna's got his cooperation, to some degree. "Alright, then, let's go get your eyes looked at, okay? Like I promised, I won't leave your side." 

Jin scowls at that, expression clearly torn between annoyance and fear, though he was obviously trying to seem like he wasn't scared. "Okay..." Fuck, if Ragna closed his eyes, it would be all too easy to pretend that Jin was just a kid again, that they were far away from here. But there's no point in doing that at all; honestly, even if it means they'll be back to fighting, he'd rather just get Jin's eyes taken care of. He's still Ragna's little brother, despite all that's happened between them, and seeing him like this hurts.

Belatedly he realizes he has yet to let go of Jin's hand, but he doesn't pull it away even when he becomes aware of it. After all, it's not like Jin can see where he's going, so he can't exactly walk on his own. No point in letting go when he'd just have to pick a different way to support him in a few seconds, and besides... Since Jin is in his childish state of mind, having Ragna holding his hand is probably one of the very few reasons he's still somewhat calm for the moment.

Just as he's thinking it, Jin's hand squeezes a bit tighter around his, and his expression crumples a bit, but he merely stays close and quiet. Ragna shushes him gently, stroking his thumb over the back of Jin's hand, somehow unsurprised when Jin speaks, "Can't nii-san just make it better?"

Ragna knows what he's after, too - a kiss. Well, not a proper one, of course, just one on the forehead or something, probably, but even so. When they were younger, Ragna would have done it with only minor grumbling about how 'that doesn't really work, you know', but this isn't then. A lot's changed between them.

... But then again, Jin's still his younger brother, and right now he's suffering. A little placating kiss on the forehead never hurt anything, so he merely sighs and tilts his head forward to do just that: press his lips gently to Jin's forehead, not lingering at all, and pulling back smoothly. "Don't think it works for things like this, but there."

Jin seems to be ignoring his words, though, smiling happily, but also looking away, like he's trying to hide how delighted he is to have gotten his kiss so easily. He'd never been a hard kid to make happy. His fingers squeeze on Ragna's again, and he tilts his head back up, eyes landing just a little too far left to be looking quite at Ragna. "Thank you, nii-san!" 

"Yeah." He ruffles Jin's hair carefully, mindful of the wound, apologizing when Jin tenses a bit, obviously not having expected the contact. "Sorry."

Jin just shakes his head, though, still smiling, "It's okay, nii-san." He shifts a bit, pulling his legs under him, and Ragna moves to get up as well, keeping his hand in Jin's to support him as he carefully slides his feet to the ground. 

Now that he has to stand, it's even more obvious to Ragna just how scared Jin is - the toes of his boots are extended as if he was barefoot, clearly unaware of how far down the ground is, and his expression has slipped back into something more close to neutral. He's looking at the ground, but it's not like he can see it, so Ragna just stands nearby, still holding Jin's hand and being patient. 

Really, this whole situation is messed up - this sort of scene would definitely never happen between them if Jin wasn't in this state at the moment. At least not anymore. Thinking back to the days at the lab... Well, it was sure as hell unpleasant, but at least he had the advantage of knowing they weren't there now. Sure, he'd told Jin as much, but Ragna wasn't sure if he'd really processed it or not, though he did at least seem to be trusting Ragna's promise that he wouldn't be hurt. 

Jin's feet finally touch the floor and he jolts a bit before setting them down properly, free hand coming to cling to Ragna's sleeve as he slides himself off the edge of the bed to stand. He doesn't let go once he is, either, but Ragna says nothing, merely allows Jin to hold onto him and lean his weight against him slightly. 

"Alright, let's go. I won't walk too fast." It's a warning and a promise, telling Jin that he's going to have to start moving but that Ragna will keep in mind that he can't see. Jin nods, clearly still anxious, but takes a tentative step forward when Ragna does. 

As promised, Ragna takes it slow; he can feel Jin's shaking subside as they continue, no harm befalling him, and eventually he moves just a little more confidently. Nowhere near his regular pace, still, of course, but at least this makes things easier. Ragna's perfectly fine with this, and merely leads Jin towards Kokonoe's lab - he won't actually go in, though, knowing that the smells and sounds of it would probably freak Jin out, but at least he could get her attention that way.

Once they arrive, Ragna sets his hand gently on Jin's on his arm, "Alright, we're here. Just relax, okay? Kokonoe will just check your eyes, then you can get some rest." Jin looks vaguely worried again, but nods, even as he steps a bit closer to Ragna, like he's trying to hide behind him. Ragna gives his fingers a gentle squeeze, but says nothing further. 

It thankfully doesn't take long; Kokonoe seems to have been waiting for him, because soon enough she's stepping out, one brow raised. Probably wondering why they didn't just come inside. Ragna nods to her, and watches her eyes flick immediately over to Jin, then down to their linked hands, expression bland yet somehow thoughtful, lollipop dangling from her lips. He doesn't let go despite her look, quite aware of the fact that it would be a terrible idea, and Kokonoe doesn't question it. 

Instead she merely plucks the lollipop from between her lips, then sighs, "So, you wanna tell me what's up with him?"

Ragna knows she doesn't mean physically. "... When we were kids - really young, I mean - we were experimented on in a lab. All sorts of painful and rigorous testing, being subjected to certain stimuli like electrical shocks, that sort of thing." Jin's fingers tighten in his, and Ragna merely squeezes back reassuringly, moving on, "Anyway, one of the tests Jin was in went wrong, and he was blinded temporarily. But they didn't stop experimenting on him just because of that, so..." He doesn't really need to fill in all the details - Kokonoe isn't an idiot. 

She looks mildly surprised, at first, but soon nods in understanding. "Gotcha. Alright - you know the vacant bedroom just down the hall from here? Go wait there, I'll come down in a few minutes." 

Ragna nods to her as she turns away, then focuses his attention on Jin again. "You heard her, right?" Jin nods. "Okay, then come on. I promise this'll be quick and then you can rest."

Jin clings ever-so-slightly tighter at that, expression unhappy, making Ragna blink in surprise. He holds still for a few seconds, just waiting for Jin to voice whatever it is that's making him make that face, and he doesn't have to wait long: "... Nii-san isn't leaving though, right?"

Ah, so that's what it is. Ragna squeezes on Jin's fingers again, just reassuring him, "I'm not, no. Not even if you get some rest."

Jin looks somewhat happier at that, perking, "Nii-san will sleep with me?"

Ragna glances away, but merely sighs. "... I might not sleep, just in case Kokonoe has any questions, but I won't leave your side, anyway." Well, at least he didn't really have a whole lot else to do at the moment. Besides, he'd never been intending on leaving Jin alone while he slept anyway, knew that if Jin woke up alone and 'somewhere unfamiliar', he could very well panic again. It's kind of tedious, but it's not like Ragna blames Jin for it. He didn't ask for this. 

Jin seems a little put-out, but nods all the same, and finally allows Ragna to lead him to the unoccupied room in question. Ragna guides him to the bed, unsurprised when Jin doesn't let go of him so he's forced to sit down too, merely doing so without a fuss. He even lets Jin press up against his side, though he makes no motion to make it any more comfortable for him. In this state of Jin's, he'll put up with a lot, but he knows Jin's just going to have to lean away again in a few seconds regardless, in order for Kokonoe to run some tests. Still, he's also not pushing Jin away, partially because he can feel his little brother shaking slightly in anxiety again. 

Kokonoe wisely knocks before she enters, and Ragna squeezes Jin's hand all the same, mumbling to him that it's just Kokonoe, giving her some time to set up. To his surprise, and gratitude, she comes closer first and sets a bowl of seemingly warm water near them with a washcloth and some bandages. "Treat that wound first, wouldja?"

Ragna nods, reaching for the cloth and murmuring to Jin that this might hurt, but that he's just going to clean up and bandage the injured area. Jin nods hesitantly and closes his eyes as if it makes a difference, but Ragna doesn't comment on it, merely talking Jin through it, letting him know when he's going to touch. He tries to be gentle, but of course he has to scrub at least somewhat in order to get the blood out, and Jin winces occasionally but doesn't complain beyond quiet little whines. Ragna shushes him with apologies each time, and thankfully it doesn't take terribly long before at least most of the blood is out. Some of the clotted bits in his hair will require a proper shower, but at least the area around the wound itself is clean.

He wraps the bandage around Jin's head as carefully as he can while still doing it tight enough to actually do it's job, giving Jin some quiet words of praise once he's all done. Kokonoe grumbles as she sets her laptop and some other things Ragna can't identify up over in the other corner, and Ragna's more used to this side of her, unsurprised when she gets louder in her complaints. "You know humans aren't really my thing, right? Cyborgs are more my forté." 

Ragna nods, then shrugs, "Yeah, but I'm sure you can at least manage a brain scan."

That makes her glare at him over her shoulder, scoffing, "Of course I can, and better than you ever could. I'm just saying it's unusual for me, so it might take a little longer than normal." 

Ragna can't help but roll his eyes at her attitude, but he also can't complain. She _is_ helping them out, after all. Jin stays quiet at his side, clearly still anxious, and Kokonoe fiddles with a few things, mumbling to herself before nodding, seemingly satisfied. "Right, ready then. C'mere, blondie." 

It takes a second for Ragna to realize why Jin doesn't immediately move. Right, Ragna had been blond when they were younger, too. "She means you," he mutters to Jin, who blinks at that, but slowly peels himself away from Ragna's shoulder. Kokonoe steps over, raising a brow but saying nothing about Ragna's comment. 

She's holding some little device in her hands, and just as Ragna's opening his mouth to ask her to explain, she does, "This is as non-invasive as it gets. Just sit still for fifteen seconds or so. I'm going to put this on your head. Won't hurt." 

Jin's hand clutches a little more anxiously at Ragna's, but he merely nods and sits still, closing his eyes and letting Kokonoe fiddle with the device. "Okay, and... Hold, fifteen..." She counts down, Jin's hand gripping Ragna's right the whole time, only loosening some when she says, "And, zero. I'm taking it off, don't move." 

The promise of no longer having something hooked to him makes Jin obey, eyes still closed as Kokonoe carefully removes her machine, heading back over to where she'd originally been standing, hooking it up to a laptop and waiting for the results to load. She's right in that Ragna wouldn't understand the data even if he looked at it, so he merely brushes his thumb over the back of Jin's knuckles and murmurs that he did well, and see, that wasn't so scary, was it? Jin calms by degrees until he's smiling gently again, pleased to be praised by Ragna, and leans up against him once more. 

Ragna merely waits in silence once Jin's settled against him again, glancing over when Kokonoe makes a noise of acknowledgement. "Well, he's in the clear - obviously the blow on the side of his head there was enough to fuck with his sight, but there doesn't appear to be any lasting damage. It'll wear off in a few hours. He should just sleep it off." 

Ragna lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and smiles at Jin despite the fact that he can't see it. Jin's smiling a bit in his general direction, at least, so he obviously heard Kokonoe's words. "Thanks, Kokonoe." 

She scoffs and waves a dismissive hand, licking her lollipop again, "Don't thank me, s'fucking weird. Keep him calm, too. Stress makes things heal slower."

Ragna nods in acknowledgement and watches as Kokonoe nods, herself, gathering her equipment before she steps out of the room without another word. He turns his attention back to Jin, then, "There you go. Just get some rest and you'll be back to normal soon."

Back to normal... Right. Back to fighting and hostility between them again. As much as he doesn't like Jin suffering and being terrified of everything like this, he's not exactly looking forward to Jin returning to attempting to kill him every other hour, either. 

Jin seems happier now, though, and shifts slightly further back onto the bed, not letting go of Ragna's hand as he does. "Nii-san will stay, right?"

Even if he wanted to say no, it isn't like he could. Keeping Jin calm is one of the main goals here, and he'd only start panicking if Ragna left. "Yeah, I will. Already said I would, didn't I? C'mon, lay down, I'll be right here." 

Jin pouts a little, and Ragna doesn't have to ask to know that Jin wants him to lay down, too. It really is just like when they were kids... Jin's pouting for all the same reasons and wanting all the same things, and Ragna, despite all that's happened, can't seem to deny him. Then again, of course he knows it's only because Jin's in this state - if he could see, then even if he used this childish tone and acted docile, Ragna wouldn't trust him, would just think he was acting to make Ragna lower his guard. 

Honestly... It's difficult having Jin like this again, and not in the ways Ragna expected. He thought he'd be more annoyed by Jin's clinging - because he knew it was coming, knew he'd be the only one able to get close to Jin while he was like this - but it's not actually... That bad. He's acting like the same spoiled brat he had been as a kid, wanting kisses and closeness, but... It doesn't bother Ragna as much as he'd expected it would. 

It's... Different now than it used to be, because they're older and so much has happened, but because Jin's mental state at the moment is back to the way it was when he was a kid, it doesn't feel all that strange at all. Ragna wonders if the reason he's not so annoyed is because, for all that this is familiar, he can't exactly say he's used to it anymore. Jin used to cling pretty well twenty-four seven, so it had been tedious at times... But now he's infinitely more likely to try and stab Ragna than hug him. Jin hasn't clung to him for many years now. 

Now that he is again, Ragna's kind of at a loss. 

Well, no, he knows just what to do... But Jin's eyesight will return to normal soon enough, and his mental state will probably return along with it. After all, it's only the mental trauma that has him acting like this right now, so once it's passed... Jin should be back to normal, or so he figures.

That, in the end, is probably the real reason Ragna doesn't find it that annoying: he knows it'll pass soon, and that Jin will be back to hating him and trying to kill him. 

Is it really so wrong to want to spend some time with his little brother again? Without them swinging swords at one another? He doesn't even need it to be like this, just... Not fighting, for once. It's not like he particularly needs things to be openly affectionate between them again, he just doesn't want Jin at his throat all the time anymore. 

Then comes another realization: will Jin remember any of this? And, more importantly, does Ragna want him to? Part of him immediately protests the notion, reminding him that Jin would probably only taunt him with it and get even more cruel, but... Would he? What if he finally accepted the fact that Ragna actually did care about him, and stayed a little quieter, for once? He doesn't know which it would be. And if Jin doesn't remember... Then there's no chance he'd acknowledge Ragna taking care of him, but he also wouldn't be able to use it against him. 

It's not like he really expresses it out loud, but, well, Jin's still his little brother. Of course he still cares for him. He does show it with his actions, sometimes, or tries to, but it often backfires lately. Seriously, Jin still calls him "nii-san", but taunts Ragna if he acknowledges that he's Jin's brother... What a brat. 

But right now he's all docile and childlike again. Still a brat, but different all the same. Right now, all he wants is his 'nii-san' to lay down with him and take a nap. 

There are still a lot of thoughts plaguing Ragna's mind, though; what if Jin doesn't remember? What if he does? What if he wakes up after his nap and is back to himself? And more importantly on that note, what if Ragna was right there in front of him? Yukianesa is still in the other room, but Ragna's not stupid enough to think that means anything. If Jin called for her, she'd appear. No need to move. Would Jin try to kill him immediately? Would things just go back to how they were right away? Would Jin taunt him? Seriously, there's so many reasons why he shouldn't...

But Ragna finds himself sighing and laying down anyway. Jin's expression immediately turns delighted and he tilts his head up, trying to smile at Ragna even as his eyes aren't quite focused on the right place again. "Thank you, nii-san." Then he glances away just slightly, the smallest shreds of regret and guilt making his eyebrows knit gently, "I know nii-san doesn't like sharing a bed much..."

Ragna does get the familiar little twinge of annoyance at that, strangely enough. Perhaps because he knows he's being manipulated, but won't do anything about it anyway. "Yeah yeah. Just sleep already. I'm not goin' anywhere." 

Jin nods, apparently satisfied that Ragna will keep his word, and snuggles in just a little bit closer - he seems to know he's pushing his luck, because he does it very hesitantly... But Ragna makes no effort to stop him, nor push him away. Even if - no, not 'if', even _though_ he should, and he knows it. 

But, well. Worst case scenario, Jin wakes up back to normal - it'd take a second for Yukianesa to get here, at least, so Ragna could probably have time to get out of stabbing range, right? The blood-scythe is, perhaps stupidly, back in that first cell, too, and unfortunately won't come just because Ragna wills it to. Well, he can just use his claws if it comes down to it, and flee back to that cell if he really needs to, but he doubts it'd come to that. 

Besides, there's no way he can make himself pull away now. After all, this close, he can feel Jin trembling again. Not crying, no, and probably not going to - with any luck - but it seems that now that they're alone again, Jin's bravado has slipped again.

And, well, why shouldn't it? Ragna's not going to let anyone hurt him while he's like this. He couldn't protect Jin like this when they were back in _that place_ , since their cells had been separate, but this time he has the chance to keep Jin close and hopefully somewhat calm. He couldn't bring himself to pull away even if he wanted to. Maybe he feels guilty for being unable to protect Jin before, maybe he simply can't stand seeing him so distraught, maybe both, maybe something else - no matter what the reason or reasons are, he's not moving away right now, and he's not going to. At least not until Jin's back to himself. 

With that decided, it's easier to drape an arm over Jin's waist, making him jolt then freeze in surprise, to which Ragna merely murmurs an apology for startling him and hugs him close again. Jin shifts a bit, getting comfortable, then cuddles in even closer, nosing up under Ragna's jaw with a contented sigh and a gentle, happy murmur of "Love you, nii-san."

Ragna shuts his eyes. "... Love you too." The words feel foreign on his tongue. "Now sleep." When was the last time he'd told Jin he loved him? Obviously back before the church burning, but when exactly...? If he thinks about it long enough, he might actually be able to remember the exact reason... But thinking about those days wasn't something he tended to do much of.

Now, though, the larger part of him doesn't want Jin to remember any of this. That's way too much to have on him. Sure, Ragna's pretty sure Jin knows he still cares about him, can likely assume it's because he still loves his occasionally deranged little brother, but to have actually said it... That's another matter entirely. 

Some part of him reminds him that Jin could very well mean 'love' in more than the familial sense, but Ragna silences it. Now's not the time for that at all. Not that there's ever really a time to think on that... But whatever. He's not going to waste time wondering about questions he can't answer, and it's not like Jin can answer in his sleep, so there's nothing to be done about it anyway. Besides, who knows if he'd even _want_ to know the answer?

But he says nothing further, and neither does Jin. It takes a few minutes, but Ragna can feel the subtle tension seep out of Jin's body, his breathing slow, and his arm around Ragna's waist loosen it's grip. Those are good signs, at least. Ragna hadn't really been sure Jin was going to be able to manage sleeping much... But it seems that, just like when he was younger, Ragna being so close makes it possible.

It's kind of... Nice, in it's own way, to have Jin relaxed like this against him. Definitely reminds him of better days, and while he knows they can never go back to that time, that doesn't mean he has to hate this. It's much better than their fighting, anyway, and when was the last time they relaxed around each other? Sure, they'd been eating together lately -- sometimes... and not alone... and not without bickering... Okay, Ragna's pretty sure that doesn't count anymore. So really, when was the last time they were anything other than hostile to one another? Surely he can let it happen just this once. Just while Jin's like this, curled up sweetly against him and back to loving him rather than wanting him dead, breathing so calmly...

... 

Ragna doesn't _mean_ to fall asleep. Really, he doesn't - he'd gotten comfortable on the bed curled up with Jin, yeah, but he didn't intend on running the risk of being stabbed while unconscious. 

So at first when he hears the muffled "nii-san" he doesn't really think much of it, just grumbles at Jin to sleep, unaware that it's actually been hours already, and Jin certainly has slept. It takes a second, firmer, "nii-san" before he blinks his eyes open with a noise of complaint, and it's only when he hears " _Ragna_ " that he realizes what's different, what's _wrong_.

All at once the situation comes back to him, making him scramble a bit to untangle their limbs and pull back, but to his surprise, Jin... Doesn't let go. In fact, his hands ball a little tighter into Ragna's coat. Yukianesa's still not here, at least, but that doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot, just that he hasn't been stabbed yet. 

Well... Jin wanted his attention, right? He hesitates a few seconds, but then tentatively asks, "... What?"

To his annoyance, Jin doesn't say anything further. The hell...? Ragna moves to pull out of Jin's grip again, but Jin's hands merely tighten their grip to the point where Ragna wonders if his coat is going to rip. He stills himself once more, scowling into blond hair and wishing he could at least see Jin's face so he could get an idea of whether he was about to be... Strangled, or something. Or if Jin was going to reach for Yukianesa, or mock him, or anything. Anything would be better than just sitting here in silence wondering what the hell's going through Jin's mind. 

Well, okay, maybe not _anything_.

But a lot of things, anyway, and he's beginning to squirm harder the longer Jin stays silent... "Jin, don't fuckin' nag me and then just go all silent on me --"

He's interrupted by Jin finally breaking his silence, "Shut up, nii-san."

Ragna feels his eyebrow twitch. Seriously?! That's all Jin's going to say? It's better than being mocked or stabbed, yeah, but still, what the hell? He moves his hand up to Jin's arm to grab him and force him back, only to have Jin... Panic? He makes a startled noise of protest, anyway, to the tune of "don't -" before he shuts himself up again, still clinging hard to Ragna's coat. 

Ragna's patience snaps. "'Don't' what?! I'm not a fuckin' mind reader, Jin, use your goddamn words, you're not a kid anymore."

That was apparently the precisely wrong thing to say, because Jin's whole demeanor changes in an instant. Ragna still can't even see his face, but just... Something about him changes - goes cold, almost - and it makes Ragna swallow hard. 

Jin's voice comes smoother now, more the terrifying calm that Ragna has learned to associate with Jin in his moments of completely logical calculating, "Nii-san didn't seem to mind pretending I was a few hours ago."

Ragna winces just a bit at how Jin manages to make that sound like an accusation when all he'd done was look after his little brother. "... That was different."

Jin's question comes in the same indifferent tone, though it manages to catch Ragna infinitely more off-guard: "Why?"

Still, it's not like he doesn't have an answer: "... You were hurt and terrified. Obviously I wasn't just gonna leave you like that."

Jin scoffs quietly. "I would have if our positions were reversed."

Ragna snorts right on back, "Yeah, well, you're a shittier person than me." 

Jin doesn't immediately respond, and for a brief instant Ragna wonders if he offended him, but then reminds himself that Jin's ego isn't that damn fragile. Besides, he has bigger problems to worry about - Jin's still not letting go of him, and his face is still tilted down so Ragna can't see it. How's he supposed to know what the hell Jin's thinking? Really, it's more than a little uncomfortable, but... It's better than fighting. Not by a hell of a lot, because he's not exactly sure they're _not_ fighting, but the way Jin is still clinging to him and the fact that he hasn't summoned Yukianesa yet mean that at least Ragna would have the advantage for a few seconds if things were actually to go that way. 

Even so... He's not really sure what to do, now. 

He's thankful when Jin starts talking, even though he words are - perhaps predictably - insults: "... Nii-san is an idiot."

Ragna reflexively scowls. "Huh? No I'm not. Yeesh, way to talk to someone who helped you..."

"Idiot."

"I heard you the first time."

Jin nuzzles a bit closer to him. Ragna goes still. "... Idiot."

The hell does Jin think he's doing...? Ragna's struck with the sudden need to see his face, so he starts pulling slowly back, unsurprised when Jin resists. "... Hey."

Jin stays quiet. 

"Let me see your face."

Jin doesn't say anything again, making Ragna hesitate a moment, unsure... But this time when he pulls back, Jin doesn't chase him. He's refusing to meet Ragna's gaze, but at least his eyes are clear... More than that, though, Ragna notices the faintest dusting of pink on Jin's cheeks. Blushing...? Jin? Man, that really must have been some whack to his head if he's showing that sort of face! Of course he's scowling, too, clearly aware of his state, and for a moment Ragna hesitates. 

Then he just sighs and moves closer again, ignoring Jin's little startled noise of protest. They both stay silent, Jin tense for a few moments... Until he exhales, letting some of the tension out of his frame and tentatively curling his fingers into the back of Ragna's jacket again. 

It takes a few minutes before they both seem to relax properly, Ragna even letting his eyes slide shut again, though he also speaks up, "You're the idiot, idiot."

"Shut up, nii-san. I'll kill you."

Ragna hums, unconcerned. "Eventually, yeah. Not right now, though." 

Jin looks a bit surprised for a moment. Ragna doesn't say anything else. He's accepted that, at this point. Jin's going to have to do it, sooner or later... And probably sooner rather than later, at this rate. But not right this second. Neither of them is ready for it right now.

Jin stays silent, then merely tangles their legs together again, burying his face further into Ragna's throat. Ragna jolts at the unexpected motion, not putting it past Jin to bite him or something, but doesn't say anything about it. He doesn't really think Jin's going to do anything right now. Well, at least not anything to hurt him. He can't say he's sure about anything else... 

But, well. Jin seems... Sane enough at the moment, anyway, so while Ragna still feels a little weird being in such close contact with him, it's not that bad. Strange, yeah, and he can't say he's completely relaxed, but... It's nice to not be fighting, anyway. 

Even so, this is still too unusual for them, so it's only a few minutes before he feels like he should have pulled away a while ago. They're brothers, yeah, so a little affection between them could be excused, but they're far past the age where laying together like this is appropriate. He still doesn't quite know Jin's true feelings towards him - well, except the murderous ones, those are pretty clear - but no matter what, this is still a bit...

Ragna clears his throat. "Well, anyway, we should tell everyone you're alright now..."

Jin nods silently against his collar bone, but doesn't immediately let go, nor untangle their legs. Ragna stays silent and still for a few seconds, then grows slightly weary and sighs, "Come on, Jin." He can't say he's really surprised by the fact that Jin hadn't pulled away, but that doesn't mean he can just let it go, either. They really should get moving - they both have things to be doing. Laying here like this is a luxury they can't afford right now, and not one Ragna's sure he'd want to, anyway.

Jin remains quiet, but seems to be aware that Ragna's patience is running thin, because he finally does shift their legs free of each others', and lets go of Ragna's jacket, pulling back enough to sit up. Ragna takes a second longer to do so, watching Jin just to make sure his vision is actually completely back to normal and that he doesn't have any other side effects, but he seems fine enough, so Ragna sits up as well.

He's not expecting the sudden, cool press of Jin's lips to his cheek.

It's quick - Jin doesn't linger, and he's already sliding off the bed by the time Ragna's done blinking in surprise, tense and startled, but his reflexes are sharp enough that he manages to grab Jin by the wrist. It earns a scowl from Jin, but he's not meeting Ragna's eyes. He's not blushing or anything, either, of course, but the fact that he's not meeting Ragna's eyes...

He wants to tell Jin not to do things like that, but the words stick in his throat. Instead he just reaches up with his other hand and ruffles Jin's hair, brief, then lets go of Jin's wrist and stands as well, ignoring the flash of surprise across Jin's face.

He doesn't want to ask how Jin feels towards him, doesn't really want to know. In the end, it doesn't really matter anyway; Jin's going to have to kill him, so... It might be better to keep his distance even now, may be more kind if they keep fighting rather than acting as the older brother figure he is. He knows Jin's committed to killing him, and wouldn't back out, but that's not his worry: it's more like he'd rather hurt Jin as little as possible with his death, physically, yeah, but also emotionally. 

Jin may say "let's kill each other", but Ragna has no intention of it being mutual destruction.

He gives Jin a tiny smile, not quite happy but at least not angry, and flicks his head toward the door. "C'mon. I know Tsubaki's worried sick. You should go tell her you're alright, I'll deal with the others." 

Jin's scowl fades as he nods, expression going back to something more neutral, and he strides confidently towards the door. It's good to see him back to normal, even if Ragna's not quite eager to go back to butting heads all the time. He glances around the room to make sure Kokonoe hadn't left anything behind, but when he looks over again, Jin's hesitating in the doorway. He's not facing Ragna, though, so Ragna stays quiet, curious, until he hears a _very_ quiet, "Thank you, nii-san."

Jin flees after that - not that he'd admit it was 'fleeing', but Ragna knows better - and Ragna just stands there for a few seconds, rather dumbstruck. Well. Alright then. He honestly can't remember the last time Jin thanked him, except of course for before their nap, but that doesn't count because Jin hadn't been himself, and he hadn't been expecting to hear it now that Jin was himself again. 

Even if it doesn't change their situation at all, even though nothing can... Ragna's still somewhat happy to have caught a glimpse of the person he remembered Jin to be when they were children. It gives him hope that once this is all over, Jin will be able to move on and live a normal life. Or, well, whatever passes for one for them, anyway. 

There's still a lot between them, good, bad, and unknown... but Ragna feels like at least this is a step in the right direction. He doesn't expect things will magically get better between them, and in the end isn't sure he really wants there to be a massive improvement anyway, but he does still care about Jin, despite all that's happened. It might make things worse for Jin in the end to know that, but Ragna's trying not to think about that too much. For now he's alright; he can hold it in a while longer.

He only hopes that when this is all over, Jin won't suffer too much.

They've been through enough already. Hopefully Ragna's death will put an end to all of the suffering going on. If it does... Then he won't regret anything else.

Even if Jin hates him for it.


End file.
